The first impression of a date
If you are going on your first date, you may feel both excited and stressed. You may wonder how to make a good first impression, what to do in order not to screw up this date and interest the other person, and then maybe continue the relationship. In this article, I’ll give you some best practices.
Some of us have complaints in our blood, but it’s worth biting your tongue and not complaining about your neighbor, boss or ex (avoid it like the plague!). Show your strengths, present your passions and what makes you smile. The first date should be as light as a feather, so don’t be heavy on criticizing everyone around you, telling about family conflicts or discussing controversial topics. There will be time to address such issues.
Don't show all your cards
If the trailer of the film contains spoilers, it may prevent us from going to the cinema to watch it. Who would want to watch a movie after reading the script? It’s the same with the first date. During the first informal conversation, you do not need to provide any diseases that occur in your family, math grades at school or your entire love biography. It’s worth saving something for later. Let’s not serve a multi-course dinner with dessert on the first date. You can start off by sampling appetizers. by offering popcorn.
Show your interest
This point is related to the previous one. Each of us needs more or less attention and interest. Instead of just talking about yourself, it’s worth asking questions as well. What can you ask? Follow-up questions can imply deeper interest. You will show that you are listening and that you are curious about her or his world. Does he tell you he likes his job? Ask what he likes about it, what are the challenges and who he works with. Is he talking about a cat? Find out more about him. A good rule is also the principle of reciprocity and repeating the question, e.g. how will it fall on the other hand: where do you like to go on vacation, you can then ask: what about you? And the last important rule – do not use the phone. It’s best to put it in your pocket or purse. Perhaps you can devote an hour of full attention to your potential partner for life? 🙂 If we are talking to someone who is reading the news or scrolling Instagram at that time, we will not feel listened to.
First impressions matters - appropriate clothing
If you don’t look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, don’t worry! Maybe they won’t invite you to a session in Vogue, but you always have a chance for a date 🙂 Make sure you look neat. You don’t have to wear a ball gown or a suit, but an ironed shirt, nice dress and neat clothes will make a better first impression. Why? It’s worth making an effort to show that this date is not a meeting between shopping and going out to throw out the garbage. In addition, a well-chosen cut of trousers or other garments will emphasize your good features, and this is to your benefit.
Body language during a date. What does your body language say non-verbally about you?
Words say a lot, but body language, gestures and tone of voice say even more. What to do to make a good first impression and initiate contact? Try to maintain eye contact during the conversation and try to adjust the pace of speaking to the listener.
Confidence on a date
Self-confidence works like a magnet. It is worth investing your time and attention in it, regardless of potential dates. If you struggle with its lack on a daily basis, you can learn more in another article on how to build self-confidence.
Date - how to behave?
Naturally. If every day your favorite form of spending Saturdays is wrapping yourself in a blanket with a book and a cup of fragrant coffee, do not pretend that you love nightclubs. This principle works at all levels. Do you want to finally build a happy relationship? It’s a human characteristic to want a partner, but it’s impossible to pretend in the long run, so you waste your time unnecessarily if you are not a good match together. The first date is a bit like an HR interview. We check our expectations, needs and whether we are able to meet them. If someone thanks you for the meeting and will not want to continue the relationship, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you, you are simply not a good “match”. An analytical accountant who loves order could be very unhappy in a startup without clear rules, and a creative copywriter would feel frustrated in a procedural office. And that’s ok! As my beloved teacher used to say: every beast will find its beauty! 🙂
Hi. Welcome to my blog 🙂 I’m a psychologist and public speaking trainer. In 2021 I was chosen as one of the top 11 public-speaking coaches worldwide 2021, according to the Coach Foundation ranking. I work as a TEDx coach and Head of Speakers at TEDxZurich. I also help, among others, lawyers, vocalists, actors, lecturers and business people in preparation for their speeches in front of hundreds of people in the audience, as well as in conducting small meetings or presentations. For many years I worked on controlling the stage fright that kept me awake at night. I was singing and dancing in a Cuban musical. I have always wondered how to manage the internal critic, not to worry about the opinion of others, and how to build a real sense of confidence on stage. Now I know the answer.
Recently, I have given countless interviews, which made me aware of the importance of confidence in front of the camera. Having been involved in music since the age of 10, I know how stressful it can be to present to a wider audience. By combining my business and music experience, I can guide you through the process of changing direction towards your dreams. Based on my vast stage experience, I have gained the ability to provide adequate tools and methods of coaching that will support your development.